I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
