pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
