Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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