So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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