Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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