he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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