That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
