I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize