you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
