And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i think i have two assholes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
