When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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