Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
