another moral hangover. fuck.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
