Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake š
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
