You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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