Swine flu. Run for my life!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He passed out mid-signature
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize