a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Green mimosas i think yes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
