He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
