Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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