I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
