hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize