marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
