You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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