Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize