Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
one two three fourrrrnication!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
