Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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