operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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