is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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