Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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