If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
