if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
