this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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