Do you still have your period?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
