im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize