i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
