; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I faked an abortion last night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize