I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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