Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
