he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
