and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
