Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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