Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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