she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
