I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
