wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
