you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize