You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Still dying that you shit outside
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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