I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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