I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
