so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
