Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
