i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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