We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it penis luge time yet?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
