Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
