Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
