Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We need to rekindle our bromance
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
