He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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