They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
