I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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