we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize