just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
