You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
