apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
